Talking to Your Kids About Safety
Age-appropriate conversations that build awareness without creating fear. Scripts and starters included.
Teaching kids about safety is a balance. Too little, and they're unprepared. Too much, and they become anxious. The goal is to build awareness and confidence — not fear.
These aren't one-time conversations. They're ongoing, age-appropriate discussions that grow with your child.
Empower, don't frighten.
Frame safety as a superpower they're learning, not a reaction to scary things in the world. Kids who feel capable are more likely to act when it matters.
By Age Group
Little Ones
Ages 3-5Focus on: Body autonomy and trusted adults
At this age, kids need simple rules they can remember. The concept of "strangers" is too abstract — focus on the people they CAN trust instead.
"Your body belongs to you. No one should touch you in a way that feels wrong or scary — and if they do, you tell me right away. You won't be in trouble. I always want to know."
Key concepts:
• "Safe adults" list — who they can go to
• "No secrets from parents" rule (surprises are okay, secrets are not)
• Practice saying "No!" loudly
School Age
Ages 6-10Focus on: Recognizing "tricky people" and trusted actions
Kids this age can understand more nuance. Instead of "stranger danger," teach them to recognize suspicious behavior from anyone — even people they know.
"Most adults don't need help from kids. If a grown-up asks you to help them find a puppy, carry something, or keep a secret — that's a tricky person. Real adults ask other adults for help."
Key concepts:
• "Tricky people" vs. strangers
• Code word for family pickups
• What to do if separated in public
• "Check first" rule before going anywhere
Tweens
Ages 11-13Focus on: Digital safety and situational awareness
This is when online risks become real. It's also when they start going places without you. Both require direct, ongoing conversation.
"People online aren't always who they say they are. If someone you've never met in person wants to meet up, or asks you to keep your conversations private — that's a red flag. I'm not trying to spy on you. I'm trying to keep you safe."
Key concepts:
• Online privacy and sharing
• Gut feelings and when to leave
• How to get out of uncomfortable situations
• "No questions asked" pickup policy
Teens
Ages 14+Focus on: Real-world scenarios and trusted instincts
Teens need to be treated as partners in their own safety. Lectures don't work — conversations do. Ask what they'd do in specific situations.
"I trust you to make good decisions. But I also know that situations can get complicated fast. If you're ever somewhere and something feels wrong — text me anything, even just a period. I'll call with a 'family emergency' and come get you. No judgment."
Key concepts:
• Trusting their gut
• Party safety and buddy systems
• Drink safety
• Exit strategies for uncomfortable situations
• How to help a friend who's in trouble
Make it casual. In the car, at dinner, walking through a store: "What would you do if someone grabbed your arm?" or "What would you do if you got lost here?" Listen more than you talk. Correct gently. Praise smart thinking.
The Foundation
Regardless of age, every safety conversation should reinforce three things:
1. You can always tell me. Whatever happens, they won't be in trouble for telling you. Remove the fear of your reaction.
2. Your body, your rules. They have the right to say no to any touch — including from relatives. Model respecting their boundaries.
3. Trust your feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Teach them that discomfort is data, not something to push through.
These aren't scary conversations. They're empowering ones. Kids who know what to do feel confident, not afraid.
Protecting Your Family Starts With You
When you feel confident and capable, your kids learn from your example. Fierana helps mothers build complete protection skills — so you can teach from experience, not fear.
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